When I walk into a room, I want to demand attention. I want people to notice my confidence and aura. As I begin my journey becoming an Architect I am intertwined in a major where I am the only person who looks like me.
In a field where majority of its members are older white men I am a needle in a haystcak; a young, african-america, woman. I want to create an identity that screams, “I am well deserving of this position, and you will not be disappointed” I want to create and identity that says “I come with new ideas and possibilities just put your trust in me”.
Ive dealt with being the only person of color in the classroom for as long as I can remember. A situation that could easily tear someone down Ive used to build me up. In times I’ve been looked down upon I reassured myself of my capability to succeed in any and every enviorment; I believe in myself so others don’t have to.
According to Gee knowing the right things to say in various environments can assure your peers of your credibility, the way you speak , the way you walk, and the confidence you exude in “Literacy, Discourse, and Linguistics” stating “At any moment we are using language we must say or write the right thing the right way while playing the right social role and (appearing) to hold the right values, beliefs, and attitudes. Thus, what is important is not language, and surely not grammar, but saying (writing)-doing-being-valuing-believing combinations” (2)
Furthermore, if we act in the manner we wish to be perceived in eventually this will be manifested and we will become that version of ourselves.
The way I carry myself I believe is the reason many people are taken back by me and find it hard to approach me, when in reality I’m a very nice welcoming person.
Although my confidence is present there have been moments of weakness that I’m sure everyone has. For example my very first semester at SDSU. I went from attending classes of 10-20 students to lecture halls of 150-300 and professors who didn’t even know I existed. I wasn’t sure how or when id feel like I belonged at this University, I didn’t feel important just another fish an a huge ocean.
This is where Gee’s knowledge and understanding of knowing what and when to say things became useful. I told myself I was more than deserving of this higher education I would now be receiving and if I want to feel as if I belong I would have to assure myself that I did. I had to figure out how to feel important in a large group of students so I wouldn’t loose myself getting caught up in my own mind.
Gianni K: The Cloud 
Hello Gianni. As a woman of color I can relate to the feeling of being the only POC in a room . I really enjoyed your blog and liked how you kept it honest. I couldn’t agree more when you said you are deserving of any position. The field you are entering seems a bit hard to enter as are many industries as a POC. Switching into SDSU was intimidating because of the class size. Gee talks about mushfaking and I think everyone needs to do that in order to grow. You going into SDSU made you grow. You pushing forward with your major even with the racial challenges and systematic oppression will make you grow. I am sure it has not been easy to become an architect but it will be worth it. You will fit into the new Discourse and flourish in it.
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Hey Gianni, I like that you use your skin color and what that brings to motivate you to continue your journey. I am sure that you will meet your goals and you will bring new ideas to the field. It makes me happy that you, just the way you are will one day impact the society that you live around. You are a courageous African American that will make history.
Be confident and believe that God will help you through it.
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Hi Gianni,
I can tell by your style, your pictures, and the way you write that your aura radiates confidence! That’s what you’re aiming for and you’ve definitely got it down. When you said you’re going to be an architect I thought that totally makes sense. When I think of architect I think of someone with intelligence and a very creative nature. You express a very artistic side through your pictures and fashion sense. I think it’s interesting that you say sometimes people are taken back by you because from my perspective I would be inspired by someone exuding confidence. I totally understand what you mean with finding your way at SDSU. I personally was so intimidated when I first transferred but I am trying to exude some confidence like I belong. Thanks for sharing and thank you for the inspiration!
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Hi Gianni,
I can tell by your style, your pictures, and the way you write that your aura radiates confidence! That’s what you’re aiming for and you’ve definitely got it down. When you said you’re going to be an architect I thought that totally makes sense. When I think of architect I think of someone with intelligence and a very creative nature. You express a very artistic side through your pictures and fashion sense. I think it’s interesting that you say sometimes people are taken back by you because from my perspective I would be inspired by someone exuding confidence. I totally understand what you mean with finding your way at SDSU. I personally was so intimidated when I first transferred but I am trying to exude some confidence like I belong. Thanks for sharing and thank you for the inspiration
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Gianni,
I really enjoyed reading your blog! I too felt like a minority when I started at SDSU. I felt like I wouldn’t fit in. Then I realized the point shouldn’t be to fit in, but rather stand out. Although your major predominantly consists of white males, I know you will excel and bring a new perspective to the world of Architecture. You will stand out to your future employers and leave a lasting impression with your confidence.
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